Are you willing to do the work? The vast majority of people spend their time sleepwalking, avoiding dealing with their issues, baggage and demons. It takes a lot of gut to face the darkness within, but without making peace with it you will never really live fully. Your relationships suffer, most importantly the relationship with yourself.
You have to forgive to be able to move on. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made and also forgive others who have wronged you, including parents, family members, friends, teachers and colleagues. That doesn’t mean you have to love them or have them in your life. Some people are certainly better kept at a distance.
My sleepwalking consisted largely of shopping/window shopping. It was my escape from reality. When I was frustrated (which I was a lot), I wrote lists of things that I needed, and either went shopping or window shopping. I would buy things and it would calm my frustrations and anxieties for a few hours or days, giving me temporary relief in the form of shoppers high. Then it would fade away and often I would take the item back, and exchange it for something else that I thought would make me happier. And so it went. I wasted a lot of precious time doing this, and it kept me busy from dealing with the real issues within.
In my late twenties I took a personal development course that completely transformed my outlook on life. It was incredibly intense and forced me to take an honest look at my life, my view and interpretation of my life and the world around, and the beliefs that were holding me back. After this, nothing was the same. My eyes had been opened wide and there was no going back. Among other things, I realized that I was living someone else’s idea of an ideal life. A period filled with frustration ensued – I was now aware of my self deception and knew I had a lot of work to do, but I was scared to do it. After all, sleepwalking was pretty comfortable, yet terribly unfulfilling in the grand scheme.
Life is a work in progress but I am so happy that I began the journey. It is incredibly interesting yet very scary at times. Growth and change is by it’s nature scary, but to me there is no alternative. I refuse to live a life that I don’t love. Witnessing my own personal growth and the positive impact it has had on my relationships is incredibly fulfilling.
I encourage YOU to take charge of your life. Question yourself, question whether you are being stopped by anger, blaming others for your life situation. Question whether you are living the life you want to live. Do you often wish you lived someone else’s life? What beliefs do you have about yourself that makes you think you cannot have the life you dream of? Your beliefs are not necessarily the truth.
It is not a day too early and it is not a day too late. A year from now you would have wished you started today. The quality of your time left on earth is more important than the quantity of time.
(This incredibly beautiful picture is made by my talented mother Eta…see more of her work here)